While this post is simply just a “touch-and-agree” piece for us ladies, it’s more of an informational for the guys. Don’t worry ladies, I won’t give away too much free game, but I believe this post will benefit both men and women respectively.


If you’ve been anywhere near a radio these last 7-8 months I’m pretty sure you’ve heard the cute but not-too-cute-for-a-guy-not-to-bop-to R&B single “Boo’d Up” by Ella Mai. The song’s melody is so comfortable that it provides that same feeling you get while listening to the best of old school R&B music. Though it’s nature is captivating in a “feel-good” sense, the lyrics are highly transparent and easily identifiable as a woman who has fallen in love in today’s time.


If you listen closely, Ella’s actually painting a picture of a woman’s point of view while in love. While women experience some of the best feelings while attached to another soul, we also experience some of the very worst. This is where everything gets confusing: those negative feelings normally have NOTHING to do with the actual actions of her man/partner, but the lack of knowing or understanding how most women are ‘wired’.

Let’s start the discussion by analyzing the lyrics, shall we?

Boo’d Up: Why Love Brings Out Both the Best and Worst in Women:

Feelings, so deep in my feelings
No, this ain’t really like me
Can’t control my anxiety
Feeling, like I’m touching the ceiling
When I’m with you I can’t breathe
Boy, you do something to me
Ooh, now I’ll never get over you until I find something new
That get me high like you do, yeah yeah
Ooh, now I’ll never get over you until I find something new
That get me high like you do, yeah yeah
Yes, The first 4 lines are ALL TRUTH when a woman finds herself in love, darling. Facts or Nah?
The Best: When we’re deep in our feelings, usually everyone wins. There are no limits to what a woman would do for those that she loves. Not only that, it provides us with a sense of accomplishment and worth (in a sense). Though the modern day woman is completely viable in independency, there’s no woman alive who denies that the feeling of being wanted is unmatched.
The Worst: Relationship anxiety is definitely a ‘thing’ and it’s a quick, not-so-silent killer of a relationship as well. Let’s be honest, the way that dating is set up, women are not in favor here. THAT’S A FACT. Several facts support that statement but I simply do not have the time to dive into them. Just know that most women spend a considerable amount of time as “damaged goods” due to past relationships. When anxiety begins to present itself, the possibility of causes are endless, but I’m willing to bet there are 2 reasons that may be a bit more popular. One, she sees a pattern or her relationship problems starting to repeat themselves. That alone gives us reason to panic. We want things to be right this time and cannot bear the thought of going through yet another saga like we experienced with Tony 2 years ago. By this time, the new man is getting annoyed and starts to pull back which brings out anxiety cause #2, fear of him losing interest. Both of these cause us women to come off kinda strong but because men don’t readily understand, don’t have the patience to, or a bit of both, the fall back game begins.
And NO, we WILL NOT GET OVER YOU UNTIL WE FIND SOMETHING NEW! Being in love is something women are REALLY GOOD AT. It’s also something that women crave. Blame our nature! I’m inclined to believe that God gave women two hearts: one to beat for everyone else and another one for everyone else. And yes, you read that correctly, most of us are nurturing and selfless individuals by default. Considering this, when a woman loses a love, it’s like losing a piece of herself (not that this piece isn’t repairable ya’ understand). Love is something we invest a lot of time and energy into. Speaking for myself, I’m very intense and passionate in my affairs *ahem* so I often put as much thought into my romantic life as I do my work life. Maybe the fact that I’m a capricorn doesn’t help that much but hey that’s what I’m working with.  Anywho, the feeling of being unemployed can somehow be equated to that of a woman’s broken heart. Just as a man loses his sense of purpose as he can’t financially provide when unemployed, a woman loses her sense of purpose to another human being that she once placed a large amount of emotional value into. That’s really tough, man! That’s why we go out searching for something to keep our minds off it by indulging in daring, new hair-dos, clubs we normally wouldn’t step foot in, and any other off-the-wall act of trying to redeem our esteem! Sometimes the rebellion doesn’t stop there, it can even include dating a new guy well before time of healthy emotional repair…..*cough*
See?! Boo’d up is the perfect resource to analyze and open up the conversation of both the good and bad elements that flow from a woman’s love space. (Hope that didn’t sound too vulgar!)
Be sure to Look out for Verse 2 (pt.2)!
So what do yall think? Am I off to a good start? Do you think this could be used to help our guys at all? Facts or nah? Did I miss anything?
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